Thursday, April 10, 2014

Mommy Series -Going Back To Work After Baby


For those of you who don't know me, I have an 8 month old son. Many people ask me what it is like to go back to work with an infant...so here's my story.

I went back to my job when my son was 8 weeks.  I started off by going to work part time around 20 hours a week for about 3 months, then I went back to my usual 40 hours a week.  Was it hard, YES! But, there are pros and cons to being a WOHM ( work outside of home mom), just like there are pros and cons of being a SAHM ( stay at home mom).  

My husband and I decided that I would be a WOHM  prior to us even having kids.  This was a topic we discussed even before we got married.  One of the major reasons I did go back to work was because my parents and in laws were willing to help us watch our son. 

When I went back to work, the first thing everyone asked me was, but don't you miss your baby?  Now, of course I missed him, but it was honestly a nice break.  I was able to talk to adults, grab a coffee at starbucks, eat my lunch in peace, and pee with the door closed.  Although, it is nice to be at work..I miss out on A LOT with my son.  

First, I miss a lot of adorable things he does throughout the day.  I don't have the luxury of taking him to mommy and me classes during the week, or any classes during the week period.  I don't have many mommy friends..I literally have a handful of mommy friends, therefore my son rarely goes on playdates during the week. I've had a really really hard time sleep training him, or getting him on any kind of nap/sleep schedule, which is why I hired a sleep trainer to come to our house tomorrow ( more on that on a later day). I did not breastfeed my baby for as long as I wanted to.  Our lives are HECTIC ( also a post for another day).  We are on a crazy schedule, and my husband and I only get to spend time with our son for a good 2-3 hours a day, if even that ( in my husbands case..he works very long hours and sometimes only sees our son for 30 minutes a day). 

However, the pros are that our son is very close to his grandparents.  My parents take care of my baby when I am working, and when my in laws are in town, they usually watch my son.  He is not super attached to me..which gives both me and my husband a break when we want to go out on a date night.

I can go on and on about the pros and the cons, but ultimately I really think this is an important topic that needs to be decided on prior to having kids.  Many people think going back to work is harder, but I actually disagree.  I think being a SAHM is much harder. Yes, I still have to go to my 9am budget meeting when I have gotten 3 hours of sleep the night before, but I can always nap during my lunch time..or grab a huge ass coffee during my breaks. Yes 90% of the time, I am a zombie at work, along with the majority of my co workers since they also all have young children.   Being a SAHM means no breaks..ever, but it does comes with many great perks that I wish I could have with my son. 

I often go back and forth about whether I want to quit my job and become a SAHM, but ultimately my husband and I have decided that I would continue working....till the day I turn 50..or the day I win the lotto..in which case my husband said he would still continue working ( no idea why..he must really love his job.). 

Do I feel guilty about my decision to be a WOHM? Yes, all the time, but I know that this is the best decision for my family and I.  I think whether or not you are a SAHM or WOHM, or WAHM....all any parent strives for is to be the best parent to their child.  I don't think there is one option that is considered EASIER, the only way I can describe each role..is that they are DIFFERENT.  Just like when babies or kids go through different stages in their lives, it never gets easier..it is just a DIFFERENT stage with different things you have to deal with. 



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